The Golf Bi*ch

I play almost every Sunday with my husband and another couple.  I've played with other men as partners in tournaments.  I've seen them throw clubs, curse, beat the ground, even break a club AND get drunk.  But this is not a behavior you see in women...oh yes it is!
99.99% of all of the women I either play with or have played with are as good as Miss Kitty.  They follow the rules, practice good golf etiquette and are pleasant to play with.  But I have had the misfortune of playing with a few golf bi*ches and believe me, they rank right up there with some of the men I mentioned.  But I think, that like adolescent girls, golf bi*ches can be worse than golf ba*tards. 

I remember a few years ago playing a two person match play against another twosome.  One of the ladies we were competing against was Nurse Rachette.  Don't park your cart there.  Don't put your club there.  Don't move while I'm swinging.  Don't smile.  Don't, don't, don't.  She was even yelling at her team mates playing in front of us that they needed "to move along".  Get moving!  Every time she took a practice swing at the tee box, she made a huge divot and didn't cover any of them with sand.  And this was HER course.  We finally get to the 16th hole.  By now my hormones are raging.  I'm clenched tighter than a sphincter muscle.  We get to hole 16 and we're down 3.  I'm putting for par.  Her partner is in for a 5 and she's putting for a five, no strokes. So I say, you can pick that up.  It's good.  She went ballistic.  What do you mean that's good?  If I want to putt it I can.  You have no right...*&%^&*(%$#.  Well, I missed my 5 foot putt.  She then says, "what a shame".  I then wrapped my 7 iron around her neck.  No I don't but I sure has heck wanted to.  My partner and I then told this lady and her partner that we were having "no fun playing with them" and we were leaving.  Please, play the last two holes her partner says.  No.  We're out of here.  I later heard that the woman had been asked to leave the women's golf association.  I have no clue what this woman's issues were but she clearly had issues...

On only two occasions have I played with women who've thrown clubs.  One severely damaged a green by throwing down her putter and the other wanted to dig her way to China.  Golf is such a game of sports(womans) ship.  I hear that the PGA has regularly fined Tiger for on camera cursing.  Good.  It's not good for the sport or for the kids that watch.  And I certainly don't want to watch a 60 year old woman throw a hissy fit because she missed a putt.  Nor do I want to call her a bi*ch, even though she is...

A Woman Who Loves Golf