Oh, The Things Men Do

My house is located on the other side of a small lake from our golf course.  I can clearly see the men's tee boxes.  One sunny morning, I'm outside on my deck, enjoying a cup of coffee and trying to keep my three cats from jumping off the deck.  I hear the familiar "whack" or "thunk" of a golf ball being hit.  I look to see if I recognize any of the men.  As I do, one saunters over to the trees, unzips, and let's fly.
Where are those darned binoculars when you need them! No, I didn't see who it was.  But I told every guy I saw that I saw their "short comings".   The next rest room is on the next hole. 

There was a recent article in Golf Digest that I read online.  The question was asked of men golfers, "How would you change your behavior if you were playing with women?"  Here were the popular answers:

* Swear less

*Spit less

*Use the bathrooms and not trees

*Won't throw clubs

*Make sure their tee shot gets past the ladies tee (keep the ego in check, mister).

*Suck in the gut (really?)

Can I add a few?  Such as:

*Use a handkerchief for blowing your nose and not honking it on the ground.

*Stop adjusting those old packages.  We know they're there.

*PLEASE stop leaving cigar butts on the putting surface and that goes for ashes, as well.
                                                           PLUS
PLEASE don't leave pumpkin seed shells on the greens after spitting them out.  We have a great dog that we paid a lot for to keep the geese from pooping on the green.  Here Bruiser.  See the nice man spit? Sic him!

*Don't drive by our tee box as if we aren't even there.

*Don't drive like a maniac and throw us out of the cart.

*And last but not least, PLAY FASTER!

A Woman Who Loves Golf