How to Put More 3's on Your Score Card

I know I said this wasn't going to be so much about technique etc.  But I have found I'm not playing as much golf as usual and some of my skills have slipped.  The best thing to do, of course, is to take a lesson.

Spanx and Golf: Are They a Good Fit?

As we all know the weather outside has been frightening.  So in many parts of the country golf isn't even on the agenda.  Unless you get in the car or on a plane and high tail it out of there.  My husband and I did that with our trip to San Juan.  I don't know about you, but I don't like to play in bulky clothes.  Restricts that great turn I have and that Anika follow through :) Before I get in to Spanx

The Walmart Golfer

No offense to Walmart.  I love Walmart and I shop there all of the time.  But each month or so I inevitably get a mass emailing with "New Pics of the Shoppers at Walmart!"  And inevitably the pics are of people in outrageous clothing, inappropriate clothing for their body types or lack of clothing with numerous tattoos and piercings.  So what does this have to do with golf?

Create Your Own Golf Tournament

Caveat...if you've never put on a golf tournament, then it would be wise to get help.  Hopefully this site can give you ideas.  5 years ago I was feeling my hormones raging and then began raging (to my husband, the dear thing) that our pro shop cared diddly squat about couples' golf tournaments.  I was on the golf committee at the time representing the women's golf association.  I said something to the pro about not having any couples' 18 hole golf outings.

The Golf Bi*ch

I play almost every Sunday with my husband and another couple.  I've played with other men as partners in tournaments.  I've seen them throw clubs, curse, beat the ground, even break a club AND get drunk.  But this is not a behavior you see in women...oh yes it is!

Golfers Are Self Centered

Now why would you say that?  Because it's true.  My husband asked one of his oldest friends to come play in his member guest.  His friend's wife is also one of my dearest friends.  Of the four of us, she is the only one who doesn't play golf.  Not that we intentionally or consciously did this but all the three of us that golfed did was...talk about golf.  My dear friend would leave and go read a book.  Another example, please.  Well, how many times have you had to listen to a golfer go through every hole of a round they've just played?  Ahem...listen up husbands.  Or, you're riding in a cart with someone and all they do is talk about what they just did or what they need to do to improve on the next shot.  Shut the F*CK UP!  I'm trying to play my own game here!  The fact of the matter is NO ONE ELSE CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST DID!  I'm starting to get like Elaine on Seinfeld with the exclamation points. 

But since you're reading my blog, I've got you sort of trapped and will tell you about my almost Adam Scott moment.  Once a year we have a bracketed match play event we call our President's Cup.  We start out with the lowest handicapped person in the flight playing the highest handicapped player.  I'm a 19 and I played a 15 so she had to give me 4 strokes.  I make the turn 6 UP.  I said to myself, self, keep focused.  Just win a few more holes and you can put this away.  Not my usual philosophy.  My usual philosophy is "one shot at a time sweet Jesus, one shot at a time."  My husband says that's blasphemous.  Well, if Zac Johnson can thank God.  But the truth is I don't think God really is worried about my golf game.  I digress.  I tie 10.  Hit the ball in the water on 11 (loss), hit the ball in the water on 12 (loss), two chunks on 13 (loss).  So I'm now only three up.  Tie 14 with a 9 (wasn't pretty) and hit it in the water on 15 (loss), now two up.  Pulled, shanked and lost 16 even though I've got a stroke (loss), tie 17 and go into 18 one up.  I DID NOT WANT TO PLAY EXTRA HOLES.  Get a hold of yourself you dick nose (sorry, a popular phrase my husband uses).  Well, ladies and germs, I had a stroke on the last whole, a long par 5.  I get on in 4, she's on the fringe in 3.  She three putts and I one putt for a par and the win!  The crowd roars! 

Don't you just hate playing like that?  And don't you hate reading about it?

A Woman Who Loves Golf

The "doers" and the "don'ters...

We have 80 members in our women's golf association.  Of that 80, 24 have volunteered to do something to help the organization STAY an organization.  I recently posted on my blog all of the volunteer jobs we need to fill every year.  But of those 24 that have volunteered,

We Need Volunteers!

It is the job of the vice-president of our women's golf association to get all of the volunteers for the up coming year.  Sometimes it's easy...sometimes, well, nearly impossible.  I work, I have kids, I travel, I'm here only 3 months out of the year, I've volunteered every year for 10 years! Enough already!

Your Very Own Solheim Cup

About 5 years ago as president of our women's organization, I decided to try and have our very own Solheim Cup.  The men's group had been doing their Ryder Cup thing for a while and as we have quite a few competitive women in our group, we decided to give it a go.

An Alternative Universe- Women Ruling Golf

Get a load of this opening paragraph from the article entitled "Golf Searches for Its Feminine Side" by WSJ writer John Paul Newport:  "If the vast majority of golfers were women, with men accommodated mostly as an after though-in other words, the inverse of the way things actually are-the primary set of tees at most of the courses would be around 4,900 yards.

Got Myself a Big Stick Swinging in the Dirt

That's a terrific lyric from Bruce Hornsby's Big Stick from the movie Tin Cup. As I stated before, I'm a mediocre golfer, hacking away hoping to one day continually break 80...OK 85.  And as I stated  in a previous blog, I'm not big on taking lessons.  My one claim to fame?

A Sisyphean Game

Wow, that's a mouth full.  Want to know who uttered that phrase?  Ray Romano on The Hank Haney Project.  Yes indeedy, it was Ray.  He's on the show to try and become a single digit handicapper.  He brought up Sisyphus to describe his approach to golf.  His game is a "Sisyphean game", one that seems to be nothing but frustration.  Constantly trying to improve his game by trying to improve his game by himself.  What?  OK.  He does nothing to improve his game other than constantly hitting on the range and watching videos and reading magazines.  He doesn't get better and all that does is frustrate him.  If you don't remember Sisyphus, in Greek legend he pissed off Zeus with his hubris, thus angering said god who then compelled Sisyphus to roll a huge rock up a steep hill. But before he could reach the top of the hill, the rock would always roll back down again, forcing him to begin again.  How many of us have a game that rolls ups and then tanks.  We're playing a round and after 9 holes, we've shot a 36.  Woo hoo!  Going to shoot the game of all time.  Then bogey, bogey, triple, triple, three putt, three putt.  It's a Sisyphean game. 

I've always been one of those folks who doesn't like to be told what to do.  I also don't like to think that I may not live up to other people's expectations of me.  So, if you were to extrapolate from that-  I don't like to take lessons.  Someone is telling me what to do and even though the pros see all kinds of swings, I do have a reputation to uphold.  Yah, right.  They know your handicap and it's not an 8.  I always end up squandering time by yakking or joking around.  Not good.  I'm never going to be an 8.  I asked a teaching pro once what would that take.  He asked, how much actual time do you have to practice and if you had the time, how often would you practice?  He said I'd have to practice 3-4 times a week and take a lesson once a week for 6 months and then I might MIGHT break 80.  I have shot one 79, one 80,  and one 81.  But that's 3 scores out of 100's.  So, what's a girl to do to get out of this Sisyphean rut?   Albert Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".  Well, I'm not insane so I either have to accept mediocrity or make a plan for improvement.  Well, I'll watch Ray and see how he does.  Maybe he'll inspire me...

Blogger's Note:  Ray does not reach his goal of breaking 90.

Playing from the "Women's" Tees

At our club, we have 6 tee boxes all the way from the "tips" to the red tees.  Informally,  the white tees are the "senior" tees and the red tees are designated as "the ladies'" tees.  There are variations on this.  I have seen, and I much prefer this, that the tees be designated by handicap.  But, of course,  you have to take into account slope

Golf, Rules and Women

My women's golf association had its Informal Coffee this week.  We like to get together in the dead of the winter with the informal coffee to meet new members, cajole possible new members and harass old friends.  We don't spend a lot of money on the coffee and just provide said coffee and muffins.  I'm going to digress for a moment. 

The Games We Play Both Figuratively and Literally

We all know women within our golf groups who love to play "games" to win.  Wow, that's a nasty lie in the bunker.  Good luck getting that out.  Or, Too bad you're so far left in the fairway.  Now that limb is going to be in the way.  I'd like to say that I am stronger mentally than to let something like that bother me,

Won't You Please Be the......

I was asked this after being a member of the women's golf association for 6 months, "Won't you please be our secretary?"  You're asking a woman who refused to take typing in high school and who swore she WOULD NEVER BE A SECRETARY! (NOT that there's anything wrong with that!)