What Do You Expect?

Last month I played in a match play event that pitted me against a 7 handicap.  Ok, she had to give me 13 strokes.  One would think one could do something with that.  Well, one can always hope.  I lost 3/2.  I came home and my husband asked me how I played.  Not well I said.  He looked at me and cautiously said, now don't get mad at me for saying this but what did you expect?  You don't practice, you haven't played as much as you normally do and you don't take lessons.  I did not hit him with my putter.  I hate it when he is right...

Some New Golf Clothes I Came Across

I was at our local PGA Super Store and noticed they are now carrying two brands I'm not familiar with.  The first is Nivo.  They are a Canadian based company.  On their site, http://www.nivosport.com/, they have a catalog as well as a store locator button.  The look is very fun.

Deliberate = Slow

While watching the Bay Hill Invitational, I listened to Johnny Miller opining on the thing that most irritates PGA players.  It happens to be slow play.  I'm sure we all remember Sergio and his hand gripping and Keegan Bradley's "dance" before hitting a ball.  They're not all  like Brandt Snedeker.

Strategery in Tournaments

I think the word "strategery" is a newly created word by the politicos but that's neither here nor there.  We had our fall Solheim Cup last week.  I picked two captains of whom I was sure would make the event very competitive.  It was very interesting in how one captain picked her team as opposed to the other.

The Imp of the Perverse

This phrase was first used by Edgar Allen Poe.  Remember in the Tell Tale Heart a boarder kills an old man because he can't stand to look at his pale blue eye. He dismembers him and buries him under the floor boards of the house.  While he had been killing the old man, the old man had shrieked.  The neighbors call the police.  The boarder is all cool, calm and collected until he begins to hear the thump, thump, thump of a heart beat getting louder and louder.  Surely the police can hear it!  He screams and yells to pull up the floor boards to silence the heart.  Ok.  I remember that from school.  What's that got to do with golf?

The Golf Bi*ch

I play almost every Sunday with my husband and another couple.  I've played with other men as partners in tournaments.  I've seen them throw clubs, curse, beat the ground, even break a club AND get drunk.  But this is not a behavior you see in women...oh yes it is!

Golfers Are Self Centered

Now why would you say that?  Because it's true.  My husband asked one of his oldest friends to come play in his member guest.  His friend's wife is also one of my dearest friends.  Of the four of us, she is the only one who doesn't play golf.  Not that we intentionally or consciously did this but all the three of us that golfed did was...talk about golf.  My dear friend would leave and go read a book.  Another example, please.  Well, how many times have you had to listen to a golfer go through every hole of a round they've just played?  Ahem...listen up husbands.  Or, you're riding in a cart with someone and all they do is talk about what they just did or what they need to do to improve on the next shot.  Shut the F*CK UP!  I'm trying to play my own game here!  The fact of the matter is NO ONE ELSE CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST DID!  I'm starting to get like Elaine on Seinfeld with the exclamation points. 

But since you're reading my blog, I've got you sort of trapped and will tell you about my almost Adam Scott moment.  Once a year we have a bracketed match play event we call our President's Cup.  We start out with the lowest handicapped person in the flight playing the highest handicapped player.  I'm a 19 and I played a 15 so she had to give me 4 strokes.  I make the turn 6 UP.  I said to myself, self, keep focused.  Just win a few more holes and you can put this away.  Not my usual philosophy.  My usual philosophy is "one shot at a time sweet Jesus, one shot at a time."  My husband says that's blasphemous.  Well, if Zac Johnson can thank God.  But the truth is I don't think God really is worried about my golf game.  I digress.  I tie 10.  Hit the ball in the water on 11 (loss), hit the ball in the water on 12 (loss), two chunks on 13 (loss).  So I'm now only three up.  Tie 14 with a 9 (wasn't pretty) and hit it in the water on 15 (loss), now two up.  Pulled, shanked and lost 16 even though I've got a stroke (loss), tie 17 and go into 18 one up.  I DID NOT WANT TO PLAY EXTRA HOLES.  Get a hold of yourself you dick nose (sorry, a popular phrase my husband uses).  Well, ladies and germs, I had a stroke on the last whole, a long par 5.  I get on in 4, she's on the fringe in 3.  She three putts and I one putt for a par and the win!  The crowd roars! 

Don't you just hate playing like that?  And don't you hate reading about it?

A Woman Who Loves Golf

The "doers" and the "don'ters...

We have 80 members in our women's golf association.  Of that 80, 24 have volunteered to do something to help the organization STAY an organization.  I recently posted on my blog all of the volunteer jobs we need to fill every year.  But of those 24 that have volunteered,

An Alternative Universe- Women Ruling Golf

Get a load of this opening paragraph from the article entitled "Golf Searches for Its Feminine Side" by WSJ writer John Paul Newport:  "If the vast majority of golfers were women, with men accommodated mostly as an after though-in other words, the inverse of the way things actually are-the primary set of tees at most of the courses would be around 4,900 yards.

Got Myself a Big Stick Swinging in the Dirt

That's a terrific lyric from Bruce Hornsby's Big Stick from the movie Tin Cup. As I stated before, I'm a mediocre golfer, hacking away hoping to one day continually break 80...OK 85.  And as I stated  in a previous blog, I'm not big on taking lessons.  My one claim to fame?

A Sisyphean Game

Wow, that's a mouth full.  Want to know who uttered that phrase?  Ray Romano on The Hank Haney Project.  Yes indeedy, it was Ray.  He's on the show to try and become a single digit handicapper.  He brought up Sisyphus to describe his approach to golf.  His game is a "Sisyphean game", one that seems to be nothing but frustration.  Constantly trying to improve his game by trying to improve his game by himself.  What?  OK.  He does nothing to improve his game other than constantly hitting on the range and watching videos and reading magazines.  He doesn't get better and all that does is frustrate him.  If you don't remember Sisyphus, in Greek legend he pissed off Zeus with his hubris, thus angering said god who then compelled Sisyphus to roll a huge rock up a steep hill. But before he could reach the top of the hill, the rock would always roll back down again, forcing him to begin again.  How many of us have a game that rolls ups and then tanks.  We're playing a round and after 9 holes, we've shot a 36.  Woo hoo!  Going to shoot the game of all time.  Then bogey, bogey, triple, triple, three putt, three putt.  It's a Sisyphean game. 

I've always been one of those folks who doesn't like to be told what to do.  I also don't like to think that I may not live up to other people's expectations of me.  So, if you were to extrapolate from that-  I don't like to take lessons.  Someone is telling me what to do and even though the pros see all kinds of swings, I do have a reputation to uphold.  Yah, right.  They know your handicap and it's not an 8.  I always end up squandering time by yakking or joking around.  Not good.  I'm never going to be an 8.  I asked a teaching pro once what would that take.  He asked, how much actual time do you have to practice and if you had the time, how often would you practice?  He said I'd have to practice 3-4 times a week and take a lesson once a week for 6 months and then I might MIGHT break 80.  I have shot one 79, one 80,  and one 81.  But that's 3 scores out of 100's.  So, what's a girl to do to get out of this Sisyphean rut?   Albert Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".  Well, I'm not insane so I either have to accept mediocrity or make a plan for improvement.  Well, I'll watch Ray and see how he does.  Maybe he'll inspire me...

Blogger's Note:  Ray does not reach his goal of breaking 90.

The Games We Play Both Figuratively and Literally

We all know women within our golf groups who love to play "games" to win.  Wow, that's a nasty lie in the bunker.  Good luck getting that out.  Or, Too bad you're so far left in the fairway.  Now that limb is going to be in the way.  I'd like to say that I am stronger mentally than to let something like that bother me,

You, Your Spouse and Golf, A Very Combustible Combo

It's like when you were a kid and for Halloween you'd add vinegar to baking soda...You knew that sooner or later that combo was going to boil over.  Well, that can be what happens when a woman plays golf with her spouse.

Women, Golf and Menapause

Ooo, what a topic.  I think the best way to exemplifly this topic is by telling a story.  Once upon a time there was a lovely lady who was a mediocre golfer.  Had a few hole in ones, broken 90 on a number of occasions, and did fairly well in competitions.  This lovely lady gets talked into playing in the Ladies' Club Championship in the net flight.  Out she goes to start her round.

A Woman Who Loves Golf

A Woman Who Loves Golf.  I guess, according to men,  women don't REALLY love golf, they just do it to yak, socialize, have lunch, maybe have a toddy or two and then go home and do their nails.  Well, for me, it started out that way.  I had never played golf before.